The Artest Awesome Streak Is Still Intact

If being awesome was illegal in North America, Ron Artest would be on the run from the man. Some cats say things to get a rise out of people on purpose and some cats have no clue they’re playing it close to the insanity line when they speak because that’s just who they are and they keeps it real — in a nutshell, that’s Ron Artest.

Ron-Ron is the undisputed quote king of the league and when he sits down to do an interview, you know he’s gonna say something that’s so off the wall, you’ll have to review it twice. On August 9th, ESPN Magazine will release the entire interview they had with Artest, but judging by the bits of it already out there. If you like Ron Artest, you’ll need to buy or loiter at a coffee-house to read this entire thing.

To wet your appetite for awesomeness, here is what Ron Artest had to say about his life as a movie to ESPN. His answer is everything and more you would expect from Ron-Ron.

My character would be a basketball player who secretly doubles as a bounty hunter. None of my teammates know, because when I’m bounty hunting I wear a disguise — a black leather jacket, nice shoes, some black jeans, definitely black shades, a fedora and a gray beard. Oh, and a cane. But even with my disguise, a villain finds out I’m the bounty hunter, and he wants to get back at me, so he attempts to kidnap my point guard. So now I have to stop the villain and protect my team without finding out I’m this bounty hunter. There’s a climactic scene when my team and I are all on a bus and the villain’s people are trying to get to it and my bounty hunting agency and I have to prevent it from happening without revealing my identity. In the end, I catch the guy trying to kidnap the players, and he gives me the location of the villain’s headquarters. My agency and I run over there and take the whole network down.

Like I said, awesome! Check out more of the interview here and read about how people in Utah were calling Artest Osama Bin Ron to — yeah, they did that.

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