Hooped Up

If you are not familiar with the “Brian Scalabrine is Greater Than” episodes, that’s a shame. No matter, as per usual I have your online back and I have you covered. In all of it’s viral glory, check out all seven episodes from his web series with Gatorade. It’s pretty awesome.

Read More »

Folk hero and snake expert Brian Scalabrine breaks down the difference between a “White Mamba” and a “Black Mamba” for your enjoyment.

Fan favorite Brian Scalabrine has turned down an assistant coaching role with the Chicago Bulls in favor of a broadcasting deal with Comcast Sports New England to call 11 early season Boston Celtics games.

“Saying no to Thibs was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, Scalabrine said. I thought it would be great to work with him and the Bulls, but I think a trial run with TV is the way I want to go right now.”

Scalabrine wanted to play another season in the league, but he had zero offers. Dear Beantown, the White Mamba is back.

H/N Yahoo!

Who better to deliver the Chicago Bulls end of season speech than fan favorite Brian Scalabrine aka The White Mamba.

Here is even more proof that you can’t stop Brian Scalabrine,  cause you can only hope he forgets to put on his SPF 200 and gets a nasty sunburn to impede to his freakish agility. White Mamba goes up and under like some guy named Michael Jordan with a sweet reverse lay-up on Kris Humphries to make the fans lose their minds.

Like the man with no name from a Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western. Benetton Treviso gun for hire Brian Scalabrine lights up Avellino of the Euroleague for 18 points, 3 rebounds, 1 steal in 34 minutes of work — and it wasn’t even in garbage time!

For the first ever B.Scal highlights I’ve ever witnessed, he definitely went H.A.M or at least Prosciutto on Avellino.

H/N Deadspin

So, in other Brian Scalabrine news. Did you know that when the human victory cigar goes home, he acts like coach of the Year Tom Thibodeau? Well apparently he does according to an interview he did with the Chicago Tribune.

“Tom has these short busts of yells,” Scalabrine said. “And he yells at me, but it’s not like yelling. That’s just how he talks.

“So I came home and my kids were on the couch. And I was like, ‘C’mon, get off the couch! Let’s go! We’re not going to do this now!’ I did that for like 10 straight minutes. And my wife was like, ‘Yo, you need to relax. You’re not at work anymore. You’re home. And you’re not the coach and the kids aren’t your players.’

“I was like, ‘You’re right. But I don’t know any other language (at work). When we want something from someone, we don’t talk in long, drawn-out sentences. Because we all want to win. But I got checked at the door big-time.”

Yes, even for a Brian Scalabrine story that’s weird. However I still wonder if when the Scalabrine kids see Tom Thibodeau if they call him dad by accident. Cause that would be soooooooo awkward.

Unrestricted free agent and Celtics human victory cigar Brian Scalabrine might be the odd man out in the Celtics talent stacking party with Shaquille O’Neal recently added to mix. So Scal might have to take his victory cigar talents international.

“The thing you have to realize is I don’t sweat things out of my control,” he said. “I am not doing this (community event) to get signed. I am not feeding children to be signed. I am feeding children because children need to be fed.

“Based on this year, I knew I would have to be patient. If I had to go to Europe and play I will go do Europe and play. My kids are going to go to great schools in Europe and they are going to learn the culture over there and take it as a learning experience and 10 years from now, I am going to call back and say, ‘remember when we lived in Barcelona for three years?’”

If the C’s can figure out a way to keep Scal in the fold, I’m sure he would accept less to keep it green and remain a Boston fan favorite. Last season, the normally sharp shooting Scalabrine only shot 32.7 percent from the 3-point line in 53 games largely due to his ailing right shoulder.

H/N Boston Globe