Hooped Up

If you ever see Vanessa Bryant out, and of all things your tempted to ask her, you ask her the time – don’t. First of all Kenny, you’ll look like a dumb@ss when you retell the story to your friends and secondly you’ll just feel poor when she waves her sparkling Rolly.

If divert your attention away from her gigantic wedding ring for a second (unmarried lady readers) and check out the watch Mrs. Mamba wore to the White House. You’ll see 48 diamonds, 36 sapphires along with a leopard-printed face and band at a price tag of 51,000 US planetary credits.

If the Mayans are wrong, I’ll cop one of these bad boys in the year 2090, the same year Rasheed Wallace wins an argument with a ref.

H/N SportsbyBrooks

The Colorado tale of Kobe Bryant is that infamous! Ever since word got out that Tiger Woods was possibly cheating on his wife Elin Nordegren with help from Rachel Uchitel. Things have been going downhill in a hurry, for the only golfer I’ll actually watch. A few tabloid front pages here, a few scratches on the face there and one smashed up Escalade later. According to TMZ, Woods is now hoping what worked for Kobe with Vanessa a few years back, will work for him too.

“Tiger Woods had a “Kobe Special” on his brain hours after what looks like a domestic dispute with his wife, Elin Nordegren — this according to someone who spoke with Tiger on Friday. During the phone conversation on Friday, Tiger told his friend, “I have to run to Zales to get a ‘Kobe Special.’” The person on the other end of the phone asked Tiger what a “Kobe Special” was. The reply — “A house on a finger.”

Given that Tiger Woods is the first athlete to be worth a billion dollars, he might have to step that “house on a finger” to an estate with an amusement park on the finger. Who’s with me?

For 17 years ESPN has been handing out ESPY awards and for 17 years I haven’t really understood why.

I just don’t get it. Unless an athlete is receiving an award during their season for an individual or team accomplishments in their sport,  getting an ESPY award is kinda BCS-ish. I mean after you win the MVP, Championship or anything else who really cares about another award for stuff you’ve already won.

However, if Vanessa Bryant keeps wearing outfits like this to this shindig, I say let this professional BCS like award show continue.

Hello nurse!

As crazy news week continues to roll on in the NBA. The latest story you can added to the pile is Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa being sued by their former maid for wrongful discharge, invasion of privacy and emotional distress and unpaid wages. 

On one occasion, Maria Jimenez claims that Vanessa made her go through “doggy dew” to retrieve a tag from her $690 blouse that was ruined after Jimenez  put it in the dryer, and then Vanessa deducted the cost of the blouse from her salary. 

Gee, you’d think the Bryants could afford another blouse with all the money they’ve saved feeding their dogs clothing tags?

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Kobe Bryant And Vanessa Bryant hit up the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night, in Los Angeles at the Paramount Pictures Studios.  If this was Beijing, Kobe would need a Popemobile to make it down the red carpet.

What do you do if your legend status is ruined by the Celtics in the NBA Finals and Shaquille O’Neal disses you on the mic at some club nobody cares about?  Go to Mexico until things blow over like Otto Mann and get some sun.

Oh…and watch Vanessa in a bikini all weekend.  Sometimes even when you lose you win.

Hooped Up

Vanessa wears some ballet / lauper gear when Kobe accepts his MVP award and expects nobody to say a word. 

Laura Lane covers the Lakers for ESPN.com. She wrote a mildly invasive item about that weird purple tutu thing that Vanessa Bryant wore on the floor the night Kobe picked up his MVP award. Then after game 2 of the San Antonio series, Lane was leaving the Lakers locker room when Vanessa lit into her. Lane attributes it in part to the “rumors” of Kobe bonking one of the Laker Girls — “a hotter version of his wife who is also named Vanessa” — who has suddenly vanished from the squad.

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