Top 5: Players That Need A Garnett Taunting

Given the priceless entertainment value a good Kevin Garnett taunting has given us all. I’ve decided to make a list of the Top 5: Players That Need A Garnett Taunting to help them out, why and what he would say to each player to keep the good times rolling. Enjoy!

After all, like the Care Bears say “Taunting is Caring”.

5. J.J. Redick

Why: Redick needs a good reminder that the NBA ain’t College.
Simulated KG taunt: “This ain’t Duke but to make you feel more at home, your official fraternity name is Big Brother No Play”.
This happens as Garnett hazes Redick with a paddle before the shot clock runs out, which is about the duration of a Redick shift each game.

4. Kwame Brown

Why: Kwame Brown has not delivered at all after being drafted first overall, and he needs an ironic reminder.
Simulated KG taunt: “Hey Kwame…Absolutely Nothing!”
This happens as KG points to a UPS advertisement under the scorers table that reads “What can brown do for you?”

3. Kobe Bryant

Why: I want to see a Celtics versus Lakers finals rematch.
Simulated KG taunt: “Mmm…Kobe your really gotta get you one of these Shaq free Championship rings, they’re delicious!”
This could anger Bryant enough to push a Lakers versus Celtics series to seven games, and  who doesn’t like more basketball.

2. Glen Davis

Why: Just because the first time was so funny.
Simulated KG taunt: “I’M O’ MAKE YOU CRY, DAVIS!!!”
This can only make Davis stronger and what’s cool is that, KG can probably make Davis cry on demand like Tivo.

1. Eddy Curry

Why: Are serious…WHY?
Simulated KG taunt: “Sh*t… EDDY…you just a rest haven for Ho Ho’s man
I don’t know if this helps Curry but, it would mark the second time that KG ever used this line since he played with ex- teammate Oliver Miller.